Setting Up the Nursery and Cleaning

Patrick and I have spent almost all morning cleaning (with the exception of a nap, or as I like to call it "second bed" since lately it seems like I wake up, can't go back to sleep for an hour while I lay there, eat breakfast and then immediately am tired enough to sleep for another hour).

We vacuumed the bedrooms, living room and I cleaned the bathroom (with Patrick's help on some things) while Patrick cleaned the kitchen. I worked on cleaning off the kitchen table but it's not finished yet, partially because I also used it as a work area for me to diy more dresser drawer liners. This time it's the dresser Patrick's mom bought us for Wiley (I don't know if I've shared a photo yet, but it needs a lot of work done to it). We also got to hang pictures and some other things I can't remember right now because I'm exhausted.

My hospital bag is mostly packed, with a few exceptions. I also need to purchase a new SD card for my camera as right now we're sharing one SD card between both our cameras.

 Wiley's new dresser! It's going to get re-painted, though! I also have this photo of Lupe next to one of the drawers after I finished getting the old drawer liner out (I wish I'd gotten good before and after pics, but I keep forgetting). She'd just gotten in trouble for flipping out on our neighbor's dog that had wandered onto our patio. There was glass in between them but it scared me half to death.

And here is Abel, exploring inside the dresser where I'd pulled the drawer out.

Abel is thrilled to be able to go in that room, but the other night Patrick left me to go pick up something and he took Lupe for a car ride with him--while he was gone Abel went in the nursery and started yowling and making noises I've not only never heard him make, but some I'd never even heard another cat make (and I've owned over 14 cats in my lifetime, not to mention the other ones I've been around, I thought I'd heard most everything from cats). At one point it sounded like two cats meowing at once. I believe in ghosts (I lived in a haunted dorm which solidified this belief) and think animals are extra sensitive to them so I was terrified 'til Patrick got back that some spirit was going to murder me and my unborn child and my cat. However, as far as I know that room isn't haunted, I'm just paranoid in general about ghosts and things, especially when at home alone at night.

Patrick took apart the crib and rebuilt it in the nursery, so I'm pretty excited about that. The animals enjoyed it, too. Especially Abel.

So the apartment is already looking much better. We still need to baby-proof it some (mostly electrical outlets/etc), organize the storage room and get rid of some stuff we won't be using, de-clutter our bedroom and the living room and then keep it clean 'til Wiley makes his appearance! We're so close now!

I need a few more things for Wiley, mostly a toy chest and a book shelf--not things we can't live without for a little while longer. We also need to get ourselves a new, sturdy bookcase since the one in our bedroom is tilted sideways and full so we're worried about the weight of it pulling it down.

35 Weeks

35 weeks as of yesterday! Just a little while longer! Hopefully not too soon, though... I've been pretty good about not being nervous he's going to come early, plus my doctor agreed with me at my last visit that she didn't think he was coming out any time soon, but I'd just hate to have to have him in the NICU (what parent wouldn't? At least he's gotten as far as he has, others aren't so lucky). I have my next doctor visit next week with one of the other doctors in the practice, then my doctor at 37 weeks.

Some of my friends insist I won't make it to full term, I guess because I look so pregnant now... but I'm suspecting that I'll make it to 40 weeks, honestly. I could be wrong, but I definitely don't think he'll come early just because he might be big if he doesn't. Since my due date was already moved up a week, anyway... if he came at 40 weeks I'd consider it him coming at 39 weeks. Either way, we're going to see when he decides to make his appearance. I don't know if I'd want to try to induce him at 40 weeks or just wait 'til I go into labor naturally and accept I'll likely have to have a c-section. I just really think it would be best to at least go into labor naturally. We'll see.

Our roommate is almost finished moving out, as far as I know he's gotten everything... he just said he's coming back today to vacuum the room. I'm anxious to start setting up, but Patrick works all day today anyway so it's not like he could be here to help me move stuff... and even if he is, I should probably not be lifting the dresser with my wrist hurt so we'll need other help. I want to be doing something productive, but I don't really know what to do... until I have Patrick here to help I never feel like I can do much (hopefully once I'm not pregnant I at least won't feel like I have the physical limitations I do now--besides the hurt wrist which isn't pregnancy related).

I want to go out and shop, but we don't really have money currently... we're needing to save because most of our bills hit at the beginning of the month... so yeah...  We have money, but I'm trying not to use it so we can have extra next month, just in case... 'til we get our new financial situation figured out. I mean, we need groceries and cleaning supplies and stuff. I want to get the stuff to refinish the dresser but I'll probably wait since I'll need help, anyway. I want to buy a lamp so I was thinking of hitting up thrift stores but I should probably wait on that, too.

This is the fabric we got for Wiley's room for the glider! I'm so excited to see it re-covered! Part of me wants to paint the chair white since the rest of the furniture is white, but it's a nice light color wood and I hate to paint over a pretty wood. 

Today is my grandmother's 92 or 93 (Mom told Patrick 93, I think it's 92 because of a conversation we had last year--at what I'm pretty positive was her 91 party). Either way, nobody in the family is very good at remembering the exact year. We celebrated her 80th birthday twice, I think her kids just take her word for how old she is then she remembers later it's wrong, oops. I'm very hopeful she'll make it long enough to get to meet Wiley, since he'll be her first great grandchild. That would mean a lot to me. I mean, I have about a month left, but even young people can't count on tomorrow... We'll see. 

Yesterday I got to celebrate my baby boy with my best friend and "adopted" family. They were supposed to throw me a baby shower but we cancelled it last minute (well, postponed 'til after Wiley gets here, we think) because none of the invitees could make it. My best friend (since 4th grade?) is due a couple weeks before me with a little girl, so it was great getting to see her and lucky her doctor let her come! I'm totally going to share the photo she posted, since I was dumb and didn't get any of my own.

They took me to Target afterward and bought me a bunch of the stuff I'm going to need to bathe Wiley, which is great because I'd put off buying it because I honestly have no idea what to get. What I'm going to need, want, use, etc. What smells good, what doesn't. All that. So I just took their word for it on stuff, yay.

Hopefully soon I'll start getting to post nursery pics and diy pics of the dresser as we re-finish it.

So close!

Patrick and I have so much to do today, we committed ourselves to two different parties by accident. Well, I didn't formally commit us to one of them, but it was the one I was aware of and had planned on us going for at least a few hours before learning that Patrick's friend's were having an engagement party today. Or rather, I'd known about it but he got the Facebook invite so I had no idea what day it was and assumed it was another week 'til about three days ago... And the engagement party is about an hour away. Luckily, since one starts earlier in the afternoon we figured we'd just leave the one early and arrive at the other one a bit late. I hope I can get a nap in this afternoon and that it'll keep me going 'til late because the first party doesn't even start 'til about 4:30-5pm.

I loaded the dishwasher today, I'm super proud mostly because of how disgusting I feel our apartment is right now. I had a friend over and we did one another's hair last night... I was so embarrassed. Of course, I feel like I can't do much of anything 'til I get that room to put the baby crib and glider in... but soon I'll have it.

Patrick's mom is recovering the cushions for the glider for us, I'm really excited about that. She also found and bought us a dresser for Wiley's room. It's plain white and she said it could be refinished (if we wanted to) pretty easily. I look forward to having my dresser back that I cleared out for him! I'm thinking I might see about painting the top of the dresser gray to match the gray on the fabric we got for the glider. Part of me wishes we would have had enough fabric to make some matching curtains (maybe we will, we asked for a bit extra just because it was about another foot... then the guy cutting the fabric realized the fabric wasn't much longer than what we asked for so he just gave us a discount for the rest so it would come out to about the same price, apparently. I wasn't too worried 'cause I figure extra fabric is nice to have... plus, if we have enough we could make a little pillow or something.

The crib we were given I have no idea how we're going to get it in the nursery (it's as wide as the door). It's already put-together and I'm not opposed to taking it apart but of course I'm not the one who'd have to do it even though I'm the one with the time. I'm debating getting a new mattress, even though she gave us her old one. I need to double check it and make sure it's in good condition and firm enough but even then, the mattress is about 5 years old (I think) and while it looks like it's in good condition, I'm just a paranoid mommy. I decided to google if I should just buy a new mattress or if taking somebody's used mattress was alright and one of the things I found pointed out how many things have probably gotten spilled on it and germs... so now I'm mildly paranoid (I'm not a germaphobe, but the crib is a place he'll be spending a lot of time in and I want it to be firm and clean... or at least start out clean)... but I'll just see what Patrick thinks, haha. My mom wanted us to use the pillow from when I was a baby (that I think they used for my brother) and I was like "This has had two babies on it then sat in a garage for how long?  They don't recommend pillows anymore, anyway... I'm getting a mattress pad."

Anyway, we'll see starting next week once I start working on getting my house spotless and getting the nursery started!

Belly, Cat, Crib and Dog

So I thought I'd make a quick post while Patrick runs off to the store to get me some chocolate cake because I suddenly decided that is exactly what I want. It's probably not even a real craving, at least not compared to what I've always imagined pregnancy cravings being like... Patrick gives in to my wishes too easily, haha.

So I'll start with a 34 weeks and 4 day photo, because the 34 week photo is pretty awful and I look fat and awkward instead of pregnant (I mean, I am fat... but I just looked fat there and now I'm both fat and pregnant).

I'm making the most stupid face I can here because we had discussed at Patrick's birthday dinner with friends how we make stupid overly-happy faces in photos, to which I commented that I'd stopped doing that and now I just look angry in most photos of me (including the belly pics).

There's a girl I'm friends with on facebook who isn't as far along as I am pregnancy wise and keeps posting pics of her almost completed nursery and I feel super bad because we have yet to start. We were given a crib, but it's sitting slightly dirty (the truck we moved it in had sand in the bottom) in our living room... as is the glider Patrick's mom bought us (which we still need to recover with a cuter, more baby appropriate fabric (but we got one today, it was about $30... but the glider was only $40 and Patrick's mom bought it for us so.... at least it's not the $180 like the one I was looking at, and I'd really been wanting a glider since I first found out I was pregnant. Yet again, though... we can't actually start on the nursery 'til August 1, so it's not just for lack of desire or laziness... it's because I can't 'til I have a room to put the stuff in.

Here are some pictures of Abel in the crib, because I put him in it as soon as we got it in the house... because I love testing out baby things by sticking Abel or Lupe in them. I may be a bit weird (well, a lot weird).

I'm trying not to worry a lot about money, but this is going to be our first time paying full rent without a roommate and I'm really nervous because it's about $270 extra a month. Hopefully we'll cut costs in other ways... but to add that on along with suddenly having a baby to buy clothes and things for (hopefully I can breast feed no problem and not have to buy food for him, though I'll need it... and if I'm any hungrier than I am now that won't be good, haha). We were doing good, then Patrick had spring break from one of his jobs and that cut our income down $400+ in one month... but we'll get through it, it was just an inopportune time, right when our rent is going to suddenly jump. We will adjust, I hope to go back to work in a few months (unless Patrick magically gets rich)... we will make it through.

And just for laughs, here is a photo of our dog looking creepy. We got a photo of her with the homemade dog treats a friend gave us so we could send one to her and Lupe just hid the treat from us 'til I held her up... but now she just looks creepy. And I so wanted an apricot poodle (or poodle-mix), someday that'll happen...

Childbirth Class, 34 Weeks and Works in Progress

I never posted about the prepared childbirth class, mostly because I'm just an absolutely terrible blogger and because probably nobody cares... or they'd have been there themselves (I guess? I mean, I guess it would be weird to show up to a childbirth class if you aren't about to have a baby unless you're the support person)

Most of it's pretty straight forward, you can imagine what was said (or do your own research to figure it out). A lot of it was stuff I'd already heard, but I'm glad we went... Plus we got to tour the hospital and that was good to know, although I was getting really annoyed walking behind all these slow-moving pregnant women.

Seriously, I was the biggest girl there in terms of size and even though a few of them were further along than me in pregnancy, it's estimated Wiley weighs about 7lbs already, so my baby was probably as big if not bigger than the majority of theirs... I guess I'm just used to carrying extra weight and they aren't? It just drove me insane, and I'd get trapped behind them as they slowly waddled along behind the lady doing the tour. I've always been that way, in High School, in crowded events... I can't stand when I can't walk as fast as I want. The lady giving the tour (our teacher for the day got on a wreck on the way to the hospital from the place where the class was held--which was about 8 minutes away, poor thing) was very nice but very high energy and high energy people wear me out.

I was also the only one seriously considering a natural birth (one girl was apparently thinking about it 'til she watched the videos in the class--but the videos in the class weren't really that scary. I mean, if you think child birth isn't supposed to be painful at all... you might need a reality check), which makes it even more frustrating that because of his size I might have to get a c-section, although after doing more research, thinking about it and all that good stuff I'm pretty positive I'm going to refuse to agree to the procedure (if me explaining to her my opposition isn't enough for her to agree I should at least get to attempt it my way) unless it's medically necessary (as in he's just not coming out after a reasonable amount of time, issues with my blood pressure, his heart rate, breech, etc... You know, the things they actually say you should get a c-section for).

I'm not trying to be difficult or stubborn and I hate feeling like "No, my doctor is wrong, I know best because I've read books and stuff" but the bottom line is I know my body and mind (and mentally a c-section might cause me to have a nervous breakdown unless there's just no other way to have him safely).

Enough of that, here's a funny photo of Patrick wearing an empathy belly:

I think if he could have stolen that belly he would have, the teacher forgot he was wearing it so he just sat there for almost an hour with it on.

Other interesting news: on July 20th one of Patrick's cousin and his wife had a little girl, July 22 (yesterday) was Patrick's 25 birthday and on top of that the royal baby was born (of course, anybody reading probably already knows that) and then Patrick's other cousin and his wife had their little girl. That's right, two brothers both had their first children within two days of one another... and on their cousin's birthday, to boot.

Now to see when Wiley decides to make his appearance, I'm pretty much counting on it not being before August 11, at least (then he'll be 37 weeks and I won't care as long as he's healthy, although since my original due date moved up a week I'd prefer if he waited. Also, I really like the September 1 birthday, but since I don't want him born after September 1 (because 1. he's huge and 2. I want to put him in school when I want to/think he's ready, not when the government wants to let me). Still, I'd love a September birth in the long-run because it gives me lots of excuses to wear sapphires! Then again, I'd love an August birth because it gives me a chance to enjoy some of the summer without a baby weighing me down and making me feel hot.

I have another baby shower coming up this Sunday, I'm kinda nervous as I don't know for sure invites have been sent out yet and I don't want to bug the hostess... surely they have. Augh. I just told my mom and Patrick's mom to spread the word via word of mouth and that invites would be sent out a bit late because the hostess has a lot of stuff going on and I'm just grateful she's throwing this for me.

In any case, we'll see what happens.

Also, here is a really awful 34 week photo of me for you guys, yay.

That isn't a maternity shirt so it really just kinda hides my belly, oops. Well, I have a belly, but to me it just looks like I'm fat, not particularly pregnant... whatever.

Oh, and I almost forgot... here's the first part of my newborn wreath I started to make for Wiley. I'll post more pics once it's finished (and also once he's here, yay).

Big Baby

Yesterday we went to the Dr. and got another ultrasound to check on the size of the baby. According to the ultrasound Wiley was measuring about 37 weeks (approximately 6.6lbs), I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow. So if he continues to gain weight at the average rate between now and then we're looking at a possible 9lbs 6oz baby.

So my doctor was saying how we'd need to do a c-section, which I'm not happy about. I reminded her that I'm hoping for a natural birth and she just told me she wasn't sure we could do it, that if he came out today she'd be all for it (except that he'd still be considered a preemie despite his large size, so he doesn't need to come out for another several weeks at least). Finally she said we'd just have to wait and see what it was looking like closer to time.

I have wanted to avoid a c-section this entire time, I am personally terrified of surgery (one of my life-goals as a child was to never have to have a surgery--that's how much I've always hated the idea of them). I'm not scared of pain, pain I can handle. I am a huge control freak, especially over my own body.

When I was in high school I had my wisdom teeth out, I asked my mom before going in if she thought they'd let me be awake for the procedure but when I got there they whisked me back and started going through procedure and we never bothered to ask if I could try it awake. I woke up some time later with a numb mouth crying uncontrollably. They were trying to calm me down so they could take me out to my mom (because there was an 8 year old boy having something done nearby and they didn't want to scare him walking a sobbing girl down the hall). Even once I managed to stop crying, halfway down the hall to where they were taking me to see my mom I started wailing again. When my mom came in it wasn't that long after they had started and I'm sitting there crying my eyes out, she was freaked out that something horrible had happened.

What really happened was they stuck my hand four times just trying to find the vein for the IV. I wasn't as scared of needles at that point as I am now, but I wasn't a huge fan of them (I somehow developed that fear with age--possibly partially because of this). It set me off crying because I was already nervous about being put under, so even though I was crying silently until I fell asleep, apparently in my sleep I was crying and moving and therefor difficult to do the work that needed to be done. They managed to get my mouth numb, but they had to turn up the medicine so high to get me to stop moving that if they left me that way for long it could have possibly killed me, so instead they woke me up and decided I needed to come back in a year. I kept sitting there, so drugged up I couldn't form coherent sentences, telling my mom over and over "I don't want to come back, I don't want to come back!" I knew what I was trying to say, that I wanted to get it done then, I just couldn't find the right words because of the drugs--but they thought I was just babbling and unaware of what was going on. Finally my mom realized my point and asked if I wanted to try the procedure while awake, I nodded and she asked them and they seemed surprised and said they'd ask the surgeon. He agreed on the condition that I didn't make a peep or he'd stop and I'd have to come back again the next year to have them out.

They got me back in the room and started the procedure and I remember sitting there feeling all sorts of pressure in my mouth, no pain though. I could even feel one of my teeth crack in my skull. I didn't make a noise. At the end of the surgery he was going on and on to my mom about how I needed to join the marines because he used to work with them and they are the only people he's met who are such control freaks that they want to be be awake for that procedure, let alone get through it as well as I did.

The point was, I could tell what was going on. I felt like in the end I had some form of control over my body. I wasn't unconscious, I could still move my arms and legs and get away if I needed to, so I could handle it.

People keep telling me c-sections aren't bad, that they're not painful. I'm not scared of them being painful, I'm scared of being unable to control my own body. I'm scared of feeling the pressure as they cut me open, shift around my insides a bit and then pull a possibly 9lb baby from me (although any size object would upset me). I will have no control, no way to get away, my body won't be under my jurisdiction. The only way I feel I could handle a planned c-section is if I were to be put to sleep completely so I would not feel a thing, but I want to be able to see my son as soon as I can so obviously that's out. So yes, c-sections terrify me, probably more than a lot of people. It's not just a nervousness, it's an all-out nightmare to me to have to undergo one. And that's ignoring all the other reasons I'd rather not have one and just focusing on my fear alone.

I am not scared of natural labor, it's not that I think it's not going to hurt, I know it's going to hurt... but it's natural. It's the way nature intended it, it's what my body was designed for, it's what women have been doing since the beginning of time.

I'm not saying there's no way I'd get an epidural or c-section if I felt it was necessary--but my doctor seemed to not even want to let me attempt it my way.

Since I found out I was pregnant I have read numerous pregnancy books, articles, etc. I read two books on natural labor in a hospital alone, a plus-size pregnancy book (because I wanted a book that focused more on issues specific to my body type) and a couple "What to expect" type books. I read 'til I felt like my brain couldn't take it anymore. I've gone to every prenatal class, including the natural childbirth. I have educated myself thoroughly on what to expect and I make every effort to be reasonable and remember that my birth won't necessarily happen the way I want it to, but I want to at least try.

From the get-go Wiley has measured big, the only time he didn't was at our first ultrasound at 5 weeks. After awhile I accepted "Ok, unless he just stops growing suddenly, this is really consistent, he's going to be big." I began mentally preparing myself for an 8+lb baby with a natural birth. When she said he was measuring two weeks big by his fundal height I wasn't surprised, it matched up with what we had gotten all the other times. I knew ultrasounds somewhere after 20 weeks were less accurate about size, but when the doctor wanted to get one to double-check her fundal measurement I felt it made sense. I have no doubt that Wiley is going to be big, so it would just re-affirm what I felt like we already knew.

I feel like I can't get over the shock of my doctor acting like it won't be possible for me to attempt a vaginal (if not completely natural) birth at all. Mostly because I was already concerned about his size and had looked up information on birthing large babies and every thing I read says 1) a suspected large baby is not a reason to induce early (which my doctor didn't suggest inducing early) and 2) a suspected large baby reason enough to get a c-section if there are no other risks.

I have had no real complications with this pregnancy, my blood pressure has been the biggest issue and the truth is it's manageable. It was always just slightly high and I have managed to get it back under control by drinking water and swimming/walking regularly. No gestational diabetes, just a big baby... I might understand more if I did have GD because then I'd be a bit more worried about me vaginally delivering his shoulders. Nothing about this pregnancy has been high risk, were he a more normal size she'd be fine with it, so why can't I at least try vaginal?

I know people deliver large babies vaginally all the time, I understand there are complications but that's true of normal weight babies as well. I don't believe I should be pushed into major surgery just to avoid complications I may or may not have. Especially when there are so many benefits to vaginal birth (quicker recovery time, healthier babies, immediate skin-to-skin contact time and I can attempt to breastfeed sooner). Plus, in my research yesterday I learned that if I have one c-section I'm automatically put at high-risk for any subsequent pregnancy. Forcing me to do something that will have risks on later pregnancies just to avoid taking a chance on me having an issue is a terrible idea to me when I don't seem to have any of the issues that have been drummed into my brain as legitimate reasons for c-section by the classes I've gone to, the books I've read and the websites I've researched on. My own mother at least got to try vaginally before she had to have a c-section with my brother (his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, they found this out after she was in labor for 3 hours).

I trust my body, maybe I'm wrong and I'll still have to have a c-section but I should at least have the option to try it my way when size is the only thing in question (and ultrasounds and fundal height are not always as accurate as we might like-- people get c-sections for "large babies" and the baby ends up being 7lbs, totally normal).

Maybe if I weren't terrified of c-sections I wouldn't care so much, the health benefits are very important to me... but I don't know how I'll manage to walk into a c-section of my own volition without ever getting to attempt it my way, without there being some reason that we just absolutely have to do it for the safety of me or Wiley.

So I think at this point I'm going to have to just tell my doctor that unless she has a fear other than thinking he may be big that I am going to have to insist on being allowed to try it vaginal. I love her and respect her opinion, but my gut tells me I can do this and that a c-section is the wrong choice for me.

Funny how the times have changed, when I was a kid I knew I was a c-section baby (my mom elected to have one with me) and that because I was I wasn't shoved through a birth canal so I didn't have that squished look many newborns do. I told myself that was what I'd get if I ever had a baby. Then one day I realized a c-section is actual surgery and thought "Well, maybe not." and now after being told I should have one I'm doing all the research I can so I can go to my doctor and tell her why I refuse to have one unless it's absolutely medically necessary (as in he's breech, his heart rate drops or any of the other things they actually recommend c-sections for).

I guess I could have hit on the prepared childbirth class in this post, but it's already long so I'll save that for another time (likely tomorrow). We'll see.

Tonight I have my natural birth class. I won't have my prepared childbirth class until Saturday (I scheduled it originally for a month before the natural childbirth class, but Patrick couldn't get off work so we ended up moving it back a couple times before we finally got this Saturday worked out with his boss). I hate that I'm taking the natural class first, plus Patrick couldn't get off for it so he's going to miss half of it... but I'll just have to take good notes, I guess.

Patrick is the only person I plan to have in the delivery room with me. I considered asking my mom, but sometimes my mom can be the absolute worst at calming me down when I'm hysterical... and I imagine delivering a baby is going to make me semi-hysterical. I mean, I give her credit that she'd be better because, you know... I'd be delivering a freakin' baby, but I don't want to risk one of us saying the wrong thing and setting the other off unless I just can't have my husband be there with me. Beyond that, it just feels like a personal thing between me and Patrick. Obviously I want the hospital staff to be there, but everybody else I'd like to just be in the waiting room 'til Wiley gets here.

I'm just glad Patrick at least is going to be able to make the whole prepared childbirth class as I consider that the most important class for him to be there with me for. They'll slightly hit on natural childbirth in it, too... but one way or another the baby is going to have to come, even if I don't do it completely natural.

Unrelated: here's a picture of me and Lupe snuggling on the bed (I'm trying to mimic the crazy-eyes Lupe usually is doing in photos. Of course she wasn't doing it here).

My wrist is still hurt. I now feel a popping sensation in it when I move it certain ways and it hurts to move it in ways that originally didn't hurt. I'm really worried about it, but since I manage to function reasonably well I'm still refusing to go to the emergency room.

And now that I think about it, Patrick has got to get his tdap shot asap! Currently he can still use his mom's flex card and really needs to get one last check up in, but he can also put the tdap shot on the flex card and my Dr. specifically told me he needs to get that one... and since he works with kids I think it's extra important (because who knows if one of those kid's parents think vaccines are bad? And even then, that might be fine except he's told me of a little kid who was telling him how after they left the fitness center (he works in the child care center part of this huge fitness center) that their mom was taking them to the Dr. I'm sorry, if your kid is sick enough to go to the Dr. you can skip your workout routine ONE DAY to protect the other children (and the workers) in the child center (this place also has a salon and you can get massages--all things that can be re-scheduled). When Patrick started working there I came down with a super bad cold that lasted over a week (my colds last 4 days at worst, generally) and it was awful, and I know it was my immune system is weakened from being pregnant and he brought these germs to me from the child center. I'm not mad, when he started working I knew I'd likely get sick but we needed the money.

Anyway, it's lunch time now so I'm going to go eat and hope my dog doesn't notice the mail truck parked right outside the apartment (She hates the mailman, she thinks he's attacking our apartment every time).

I forgot to mention in my last post how at my last Dr's visit my blood pressure was doing better.

Since I was about 20 weeks my blood pressure has been measuring somewhat high, not enough for me to be put on medication but I was told we'd have to watch it (in all fairness, my 20 week appointment was 3 days before my wedding and I was stressed). It's still continued to be high since, though.

So last week I was pretty religious about swimming as my almost daily exercise (since it's too hot for me to walk except at night and by then I'm tired. I'd also rather walk in a park and only one park here is lit at night and not only is it a 15 minute drive away (not the end of the world, but there are several parks 5 minutes or less away from me) but there was a shooting at it a few months ago so I'm still hesitant to go at night just to be safe) and drinking lots of water. Then at my appointment my Dr. told me my blood pressure was much better and to just keep up the swimming and water.

Of course, this weekend and yesterday I was terrible about it, so I've really got to start focusing on it again today. I'd hate to go back next Friday only for my Dr to be like "So your blood pressure is back up again."

I'm very happy that my blood pressure is easily managed with diet and exercise, though. I do need to be more active, it's just so hard with Patrick gone all day (if we had a private pool I might not care, but our apartment pool has these kids who don't even live here but their aunt does and 8 of them come down together and are loud and continually getting in my way when I'm trying to do laps and just in general doing things they're really not supposed to--like be there without adult supervision while they do back flips into the pool and almost hit their heads even though it says no diving. But I also feel safer having him with me in case something were to happen to me and I need help... but instead I just always take a fun noodle or kick board so if I get tired I've got something helping hold me up).

Oh, I think I'll also share this pic of my wild cat, Stache (I named him/her for the moustache he has on his face). He's learned if he waits on the patio I'll feed him when I see him, I think he also considers it a "safe place" compared to the wooded area by the apartment. Normally after eating he'll go on his way but yesterday he stayed for about an hour following eating. I was in a terrible mood (for no reason, I took a nap and woke up annoyed with everything) and he was probably the only thing making me happier. I feel like at some point he could be caught and taught to be maybe an indoor/outdoor cat. He'll never be as loving as a fully domesticated cat, but I'd just like to know he's safe with us... but since I'm about to have a baby I know bringing in a wild cat (we'd have done it sooner, before getting pregnant, but we have a roommate who I can't imagine would be comfortable bringing a feral cat into the house regardless of how domesticated this cat is for a feral cat)... We still couldn't even try to start getting him 'til August 1 and I'm due September 1. Just not a good idea, at least we'll trap him and get him fixed so there aren't more wild cats running about.

But now I'm going to try to clean a bit before heading to the pool in an hour or so.

33 Weeks!

As of yesterday I'm 33 weeks pregnant, yay! Only 7 more to go!

At the Dr's visit Friday she measured him at about 35 weeks, so my next Dr's visit we're getting another ultrasound. I've heard ultrasound measurements after 20 weeks are not always accurate (same for fundal height), but I do think he's going to be a big baby. Mostly because it seems this entire time he's measured big.

At our first ultrasound, the day after we found out we were pregnant (January 5, I want to say?), we found out we were about 5 weeks... which matched up with the dates I gave them (since they add two weeks to the beginning of your pregnancy) because I'd been in the hospital December 15 for random abdominal pains that I've never had before or since. They did all these tests simply to find no explanation but an elevated white blood cell count proved something was going on with my body. By the end of our 8 hours there I felt fine so whatever it was passed, I wish I'd just sat at home. Still, they did give me a pregnancy test using blood work and it came back negative so I'm positive it would have been a few days later that we conceived and by the dates I gave her she agreed it was most likely then. At that point I was given the due date of September 8, 2013.

So then we went back at 9 weeks for our official ultrasound and at that point he was measuring a week ahead, so I officially was labeled as 10 weeks pregnant and I didn't argue because I much preferred the September 1, 2013 due date.

At 20 weeks he was measuring about a week and a half bigger, still. I was a little concerned as I know babies have growth spurts but his seemed to be a pretty consistent one. Still, nobody acted like it was a problem and I talked to one girl whose baby was measuring bigger up until she hit about 33 weeks, so I figured I wouldn't worry.

At 28 weeks I got our first try at a 4D ultrasound and when it came around to how he's measuring a bit big the tech went ahead and measured him for me and he was still measuring about a week ahead (I want to say a week and a half, again... but the way I wrote it down in our photo album I left out just how much over a week he was. I do remember when she measured his head at 28 weeks it was measuring in at 30 and the rest of him was more around 29 weeks. When we re-tried at about 30 weeks I decided not to ask her to measure, though, since I know ultrasounds aren't the most accurate and I assumed he'd still just measure big.

So now at 33 weeks I'm going to have another ultrasound because the fundal height measurement is coming up big and she just wants to keep an eye on his size. According to Patrick's mom, both her sons were 9lbs (except we found a pillow with his brother's birth weight and I recall it being big, but it was more like 8.6, so I'm comforting myself that she just likely rounded up... Even before knowing that I had fully accepted attempting to naturally birth a baby somewhere in the 8lb range, I just dread him going over 9lbs). From what I can tell, though, if anybody's birth weight had any actual influence on the baby, it's mine... and I was somewhere in 7-8lbs range. I suspect the ultrasound is still going to measure big, I don't know if it'll be two weeks big, but unless he changes course now I just automatically assume he's going to be a big boy.

In other news, my mother in law took me to buy some maternity clothes, I think mostly for my birthday but I think also just to be nice. So I have maternity jeans that I love, yay! I also got some nursing bras, although I'm worried they're a bit smaller than I needed... I may try to take the one I haven't worn back and go up a band size just for comfort. But at the time I was trying them on I thought the one I got was the best fit, so I don't knoooow. I got a nursing tank top, which I'm thrilled about. I figure I'll wear a bunch of old shirts over a nursing tank 'til my body evens itself out a bit so a nursing tank is going to be a big help to wear under the shirts. We also got me a dress for the baby shower, and I love it on me, which is great because I normally hate dresses on me. I guess partially because I always look pregnant when I'm not--but now I am so it doesn't matter. But also, this dress is made specifically for pregnant women, haha.

We also found some maternity shirts at a thrift store (since I had some shirts I was making due with (even though they don't always cover my belly band) I wasn't wanting to ask for maternity shirts at $20 a pop) and then a gliding rocker (I'm so stoked!). It's in good condition, we just need to re-cover the pads with something less old-ladyish (it's not ugly material, it's just like vintage french farm pattern.

And today I realized I have about 48 more days (or less is what I'm worried the most about!) to go before Wiley gets here. So I really need to get this apartment in tip-top shape so that when we get the second bedroom freed up I can focus all my energy on turning it into a nursery.

We finally found me some maternity pants at the thrift store today (I'm really resistant to buying full price maternity pants in order to wear them for another 2 months, but I may buy a pair). Well, really they're capris, I hate capris (on me, at least) but they were the only maternity pants in my size so I'm just greatful we found something since I desperately need maternity pants and they were $5. We've asked Patrick's mom if she can help me turn them into long shorts instead (because she has a sewing machine and does costuming and I grew up hand sewing stuff for fun, but not for it to look good or actually be worn. I honestly have no idea how to hem, hand sewn or otherwise. I know she can hem no problem and that she'll of course be teaching me when I take the pants to her).

I'm hoping I'll end up with something like this.

I'll accept something like this, though.

I totally got those pics from a Google search so I could show my MIL what I'm hoping to make the capris into, by the way. I think they're originally from Overstock.com.

I also think I'm going to try to get some dye and make them darker, I like dark washes and these pants look like a faded-out medium wash. So sometime in the next coming days I might post pics of our DIY fixing these capris into something I don't totally hate.

My doctor made it seem like I'd gained a lot of weight fast (I'd gained none then almost 10lbs when overall she said I sould gain 10-15lbs) , but waist-wise I've only gained about 2 inches and I don't feel like I've gained much other than baby belly. I still fit into the clothes I wore pre-pregnancy and the maternity size I'm supposed to wear from pre-pregnancy fall off of me just a bit (I have such an odd shape, I've always had a bigger waist and smaller (shapely but muscular) legs) and because I've barely gained weight in my waist I almost wonder if I couldn't have gotten away with a size down because I feel like I only look 5-6 months pregnant (at most), not 8, so the elastic is almost loose. But since these were the only plus-size maternity they had at the thrift store it doesn't really matter. 

32 Weeks, Belly Pic, Art and More.

I guess I'll start off with the belly pic (nobody cares about these but I take and post them anyway).

32 weeks and 1 day! Approximately 8 more weeks to go! The first 8 weeks were so easy to wait through (well, at least the first five... since I didn't know I was pregnant, haha), I feel like these next 8 weeks are going to draaaaag!

Patrick got one of our usual ones the day before but we were going to walk at a local park with the dog when the sun came out for the first time in a week and I looked like total crap, my shorts cut into my belly weird and pushed my fat weird and I felt like I just mostly looked fat instead of fat and pregnant. This pic isn't much better but the main thing is you can see my belly so I'm sticking with it ('cause I'm lazy).

We got a lot of cleaning done during Patrick's week off, too. Of course, it's already semi-cluttered again but much more manageable. I know some of the stuff we need to get to help fix that (organization wise) and we need to donate some more stuff and then clear out the rest of the storage closet.

I have my baby shower coming up in a few weeks, which I probably need to call and talk to the hostess about because I have addresses I need to give her.

I have no clothes to wear anymore, it feels like. I'm still wearing all my pre-pregnancy clothes, I simply bought belly bands. The bands fit fine but the shorts in that picture were pretty much totally unzipped there and my jeans physically hurt me to wear because I either have them half-zipped or fully unzipped and the belly band doesn't cover my jeans fully unzipped very well (since I prefer wearing it folded over to give me extra support). I think I'm going to break down and at least buy some maternity jeans, I'm just trying to find a cheap pair that I don't totally hate. Everybody keeps suggesting the thrift store, but I'm at least a 2x in maternity jeans (going by motherhood maternity's measurements) and the best I generally find are XL. The jeans I'm currently wearing I bought at the thrift store since I wasn't about to buy the jeans I normally would while pregnant when I have no idea what my body is going to look like post-baby, but they're regular jeans and they've reached their limit. I've only gained about 2-4 inches from the beginning of my pregnancy (since I've always fluctuated about 2 inches I really feel I've only gained about 2). I may try the thrift store one more time tomorrow, even if it's just to find non-maternity jeans that I can wear with the belly band... but otherwise I have a few $30ish options... I just hate to spend the money 8 weeks before I'm due! If I'd been wearing maternity jeans at 6 months it might be different, but I was told to expect to be wearing my 6 month stuff post-baby and that was my pre-pregnancy clothes. Oh well, we will get through this.

My car is fixed, we're going to have to pick it up tomorrow so for the day I'm stuck at home. I could go swimming but I need help applying sunscreen and our pets are unhelpful jerks.

Last but not least, I started working on another drawing for the baby's room. This time I drew a zebra, total pain in the butt!

I think I'm going to add some tall grass behind him since this picture needs some color. I don't know how much of a background I'll add because none of the drawings I've done have much of a background beyond a branch and possibly adding some underwater plants (grass?)  to the platypus drawing.

My car is in the shop, it started acting up but that's not a surprise to me because I don't think I've taken it in in over a year (terrible, I know). It needs new belts, new air filter, oil change, something about axels and I think break pads or something? I'm not sure, pregnancy brain. Either way, it's a lot of money and we managed to scrape it together begging from the family... but I'm very excited. Mostly because now my car will be safe enough to let my baby boy ride around in, which is important..

I wish I had something more interesting to post, but I don't.

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

Patrick has had the week off from one of his jobs and I have been using his extra time to make him help me clean, clean, clean. Three days down and I still don't feel like we're done, though we've made a lot of progress and we're much closer. We still have a lot of clutter on our table tops/desk tops, etc. That and hanging up some other pictures we had waited on hanging up 'til now (since we have a roommate I didn't want to just cover the apartment in our pictures and stuff and him feel like it's not also his home--but he's moving out at the end of this month and I want this stuff off the floor).We also need to clean out the storage closet/laundry room, that will help a lot. We got some stuff out, we need to go through a bunch of boxes we have that we've barely touched the past year we've been here. Hopefully today will be our last day to clean and then I can let Patrick enjoy the rest of his vacation in peace and I can manage to just keep it up with cleaning a little bit every day. I'm so ready for this apartment to be clean and for our baby boy to be here! I guess I'm nesting, I've been wanting to do it for awhile so it's amazing to be able to start. I can't wait for the second bedroom to be ours to set up a nursery, too.

Our Dog Lupe is Strange

So this post is about this little brat, right here.

 That photo is old--it's from my baby shower. I'm not sure if I posted it at the time. My hostess owns a pit bull who is super sweet and adores Lupe (Lupe loves him, but it's a love-hate thing. She loves playing with him but he's a puppy whereas she's an adult and he's about 55lbs to Lupe's 14lbs... so she gets worn out after awhile and he has trouble giving her her space when she needs it. She's kinda like his older sister, though. When we go out to eat if we take the dogs Lupe will go just to the edge of where she knows he can get and she'll just stand there, but I always get on to her because she does it knowing he's going to start barking and paw at her and want to play with her. I think she's trying to get him in trouble or instigate something like a mean older sister doing "I'm not touching you!" So Patrick and I joke how if she could talk she'd probably try to act like she totally doesn't like him, but we can tell she really does (I was that way with our old cat, Izzy, when I was younger)). Anyway, she bought these chew treats for her dog (although she knows Lupe is likely to steal from him) and so Lupe was following me around the house as I was helping set up just carrying this big old bone that was probably too big for her while Clash (her pitbull friend) follows her around just wanting to play with her. She was growling and snapping at him because she's protective of bones (but she doesn't seem to have food aggression, so I don't even know) and then chewing on it. Later my mom kept worrying because Lupe ate the entire top off the bone. We also realized later she buried the larger part that she couldn't finish, but then she was getting really snappy and mean to Clash when he'd go near a certain area (which is where we think she buried it), so she couldn't get it off her mind. It was so funny.

Anyway, today I woke up, go in the dining room where Patrick is eating breakfast before he goes to work. I had looked in Lupe's crate when I woke up and didn't see her (we leave it open unless she's been in trouble... we were going to get rid of it at one point but she loves her crate so we haven't yet. We'll probably still do it before the baby gets here, once we have the whole apartment to do what we want with... because then I can find some random corner to make into a nice little doggy bed area for her or she can sleep with us), so I assumed she'd be out with him eating her breakfast or laying on the sofa.. When we didn't see her any of those places I started to worry that somehow she'd gotten out (no idea how) and might be wandering the neighborhood, but I went back in the bedroom to look and see if I missed her. Patrick was behind me and called her and out she came from under the bed and a stack of pillows I had laid against the side of my bed and nightstand when I went to bed last night. I don't know if she was under the pillows when I laid them down, I don't think so though. I think she just decided it looked like a nice little cave. Such a weirdo. I'm used to cats under beds, not dogs (then again, Mister, my old poodle, was probably 20-25lbs, Lupe is only 14 and about the same size as our cat).

I just took her on a walk but there are lawnmowers going and weed whackers and the garbage truck was here going around doing their pickup so I couldn't take her on our typical route or to her field she likes to go in so I had to turn around and take her to the area in front of our apartment that I hate (it's hilly and has pine cones and loose sticks everywhere and being pregnant I'm terrified of falling). So I walk her there and she takes 15 minutes to go around the whole place, dragging me along, before deciding to go across the street but in front of two lawn men with weed whackers who were talking. Then she starts to poop right in front of them, I was so embarrassed, I saw one looking at us right as she squatted. Less than a minute later one of them decides to start their weed whacker and she jumped, I had to laugh. She didn't seem phased by the lawn mower or garbage truck, I think it was more the surprise while she was in a vulnerable position... but it's hard to feel bad for her when she takes 15 minutes to find a place to poop.

This post is probably not for everybody, but there's only so much I can post about the baby and Lupe is also a part of the family... so she gets her own tmi posts once in awhile.

Lupe with her daddy. She loves her daddy!

Lupe with mommy (me!). Daddy is actually behind mommy--family nap time!