I was looking back over my blog and realized the last time I posted about breastfeeding I was still actively in the middle of doing it.

I just thought I would update that I made it to 10 months pumping what I could and supplementing the rest. I finally gave up because as he was getting older I could go out with him in public but I didn't feel comfortable pumping in public and was having to go longer and longer between pumpings. My chest was constantly aching and I didn't want to hold him, I would leak if I went to long (which was usually) and I wasn't making enough milk to justify me going through all that with him. I'd been afraid I wasn't going to make it past three weeks at one point so to have gotten as far as I did I'm very proud of.

Do I want to try breastfeeding again? Absolutely, if I ever have another kid I hope to exclusively breastfeed. I had lots of resources and help but looking back I can see mistakes I made, I didn't get help right away. I went a week before I went to a lactation meeting because the first one I could have gone to would have been the day I was out of the hospital. Then I felt too anxious to keep going back and getting the support I needed because I was supplementing and sore from my c-section and just overwhelmed.

While I don't regret supplementing, I don't know that it was necessary. I think if we had gotten the help we needed I would have easily made enough milk with him getting the proper latch, but for a long while I was convinced my body just couldn't make enough for him and I do think that by supplementing and making excuses I wound up never getting the hang of it or catching up.

I hope to have a positive breastfeeding experience if we wind up having a second child, and I think I will knowing what I know now.

I realized I haven't updated since April, but I've just been so busy. I realize other mommas manage to do blog posts plus parent multiple kids, I'm just not as talented. 

It's amazing the difference a year makes

Wiley has turned one, he's actually 16  months old now. We threw him a Tumford themed birthday party because he adores our cat, Abel, and I wanted something cat themed. I also think Tumford is super adorable and honestly, he still doesn't have a favorite cartoon character because we don't really watch TV and even though we have lots of books, he doesn't like sitting through them. If you're not aware, Tumford the Terrible is a book by Nancy Tillman, who has quickly become one of my favorite children's authors with her books like The Crown on Your Head, Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You, On The Night You Were Born and The Heaven of Animals (her newest, which I am still anxious to get for Wiley, it actually came out a few days after his birthday).

I wish we'd gotten a good picture of his birthday outfit but I don't think we did, although we got professional photos from Amy P. Photography  in Birmingham. 

What you can't see is that the diaper has a matching waist to the blue on the bow tie, so cute! Wiley's Yaya made it for him (while I watched, lol). I plan to learn how to make my own diaper covers at some point once I figure out  my new (used) sewing machine (it's a 1940s cast iron Kenmore we got at an estate sale!)

There were so many good pics, I think I'll try to make a separate post another day with all of them.

I'm excited to say we finally started cloth diapering, something I had been aching to do since I was pregnant! I'm still working on my stash but I have enough to wash every day to two days, depending on Wiley. I love it and only wish I'd started sooner!

Wiley is still a big boy, in the 90+ percentiles for height and weight. At his 15 month checkup he was almost 3 feet tall and 28 lbs. 

Patrick had changed jobs, then lost his new job but he's now working again and so far it seems to be going well. We luckily had enough money to make it for the month he was without before my friend kindly recommended him for a position at her office. Hopefully we'll get back to where I have extra money to get a full cloth diaper stash (I have approximately 14 and I want 25-30). I've discovered the trading sites for cloth diapers and so far gotten some cute ones! 

The super cute diapers I've gotten so far

I've mostly dealt with Bumgenius brand, it was the one I chose to start out with and bought the majority of brand new. I'm hoping to branch out and try Grovia and Applecheeks among others. 

About a month ago we rescued an adorable cat. Somebody posted about her on a local trading page, it was when it was going to be really cold outside but the girl who found her was allergic and couldn't take her in. She asked somebody to come get the cat and after seeing all these people just say they hoped somebody would get her I stepped up and offered. Patrick had just lost his job and I assured him we'd be looking for a home for her as she was a young cat and beautiful, of course we fell in love with her right away. She was so good with Wiley, too, and so sweet! Lupe was fine with her but Abel hated her guts, though I felt he would eventually be happy to have another cat around for those times when we go off and take Lupe and he's all alone in the apartment otherwise. Another lady offered to take her after I had already gone to get her and so the next day when Patrick and I sat down to talk about what to do, to keep her even though it would be irresponsible (what we wanted to do) or to give her to the lady as we felt like it would be a good home. We ended up giving her to the lady and I know it was the right choice but I still feel so sad, I adored her. 

We had to feed her in Wiley's room where we were hiding her when we felt bad trapping her in the bathroom.

I guess I'll leave it at that for now, though. I'll try to be better about updating from now on and maybe play catch-up on posts about our Christmas and whatnot. I'll just have to tell my husband to keep on me to keep up with it. 

I wanted to be sure to post some photos of Wiley since I haven't in awhile. I haven't even posted since he started getting his front teeth a month ago, or the fact that we came down with a stomach bug shortly after he turned six months. Oh, I also left out that he's semi-crawling, too!

I've been ignoring him to type up the last post (while he managed to crawl around the living room, get into the animals' toy basket and whatever else he can find) so I will just quickly add a few photos and make a better attempt from now on to actually keep up with this like I said I would.

Blame

I just got Wiley down for a nap, we'll see how long that lasts. I tried to lay him down alone in his crib but then decided that maybe I could get him to fall asleep beside me like he used to; wrong. Wiley is full of curiosity and had to check out everything around him, including the open drawer in the dresser that we use as a nightstand. I struggled to hold him to me but of course he managed to bump his head, just like I was afraid he would. After a minute I got him calmed down and sat him in his swing to fall asleep, which is where we are now.

But then as I went about my business I started to think about something that was said to me the other day. I hate that I haven't forgotten every stupid thing this person said to me. I allowed myself to be dragged into an internet argument with somebody who had horrible reading comprehension and who couldn't even figure out how they were contradicting themselves when it was pointed out to them repeatedly.

My initial disagreement was with this person trying to dismiss childless people's opinions by insisting that until you are a parent you can't possibly understand what it's like. I will disagree with that until the day I die, it is simply not true. Maybe for some people, but for many people it is not the case.

Years before I was ever pregnant I dreamed of having children, I would imagine my own children and just the thought of them made my heart ache with all the love I had for them. I've always been an animal lover, I was raised to be one, I have loved many pets. My pets were my children and I treated them in much the same way a parent would treat their own kids. No, it's not quite the same-- obviously I can't leave Wiley in a crate half the day while I go run errands (not that I'd want to), but my pets were and still are my babies and if you mess with them you will have to answer to a very angry mama. People told us what a life-changing moment it is the first time you see and hold your child, and it is, but it wasn't anything like what I was promised.

Of course our lives were changed, we were now parents. Where there had been two there were now three. We had both hardly been around babies and had very little idea what to do, but we managed and learned. Over and over we commented to one another about how amazed we were that they let us take him home with us. But there was no life-changing burst of love like many people had promised me. No, I already loved Wiley--before I ever knew him, before he was ever even conceived, I loved and adored this child. Do I love him more now than I did then? It's hard for me to say, I don't think I do... but at the time I was overwhelmed. Terrified of the c section, drugged up, my body that had been strong and capable 24 hours before hand was weak, shaking, swollen and sore. I was feeling so many things but when I talk with Patrick about the first few days it's obvious there was a lot of stuff I forgot.

During our disagreement I stated how I would educate my son on how to protect himself in certain situations. For that I was told I somehow live in a fairy tale world--not because I argued that I didn't need to protect my son and prepare him, their issue seemed to be with the extra work (very little extra) it would take to educate your child on what to do if they ever found themselves in certain situations. They couldn't be bothered and therefor my intentions were unrealistic enough to tell me I lived in a fantasy world of rainbows and unicorns (I didn't realize not trusting the world around you to be dangerous was so silly).

Finally this person, who had completely missed the first premise of my disagreement (the whole, stipulations on who can understand love) added more requirements, informing me to come back to them when I had a ten year old because with my logic every bump and bruise he ever received would be my fault. I don't know how my logic lead her to that conclusion, it was completely incorrect, but it has stuck with me just in how ridiculous the statement was.

Or was it?

Yes, stating that me saying I will prepare my son by teaching him how to handle dangerous real-life situations is the equivalent of any accident he finds himself in being my fault is ridiculous. Kids get hurt, it's what they do and I don't expect to keep Wiley from it.

But the more I think about it, the more I think how in a way they were right.

We will love, protect and educate our son as best we can. We will do our best to be responsive to his needs so that he knows he doesn't have to worry too much, we will be there to help and catch him when he falls. According to attachment theory we will be his secure base.

I've already started to see it. The little baby who I once held in my arms and who wanted nothing more than to sleep beside me is seven months old now and squirming to get out of them. He loves our dog, sometimes I think more than me and Patrick both. I hang him upside down, dangle him over my legs and toss him in the air. There was a time when I was nervous about doing these things (not to say that I'm not careful), I still feel a bit uneasy even watching Patrick play this way with Wiley though logically Patrick is probably the safer of the two of us just in terms of strength and grip. He wants to explore everything, he wants to get into everything and he seems to bump his head on a regular basis.

I remember the first time he bled, I was trying to cut his fingernails for the first time and instead of getting his nail I also got part of his thumb and left a small cut, then a day later he hurt his head. We were at Railroad Park and he needed a diaper change. We didn't have access to a diaper changer so we decided to change him on a park bench. Right as I was almost done setting him down he pulled away from me and knocked his head. Even though we had a blanket laid out he somehow managed to cut open his forehead. I was horrified and blamed myself for it. He calmed down almost immediately when I held him to me but I was mad at myself for days.

This little, inquisitive boy has now managed to pull himself out of his bumbo and bump his head on the floor. He's managed to hit his head on door frames, the soap holder in the bathtub and just now the nightstand. Sometimes I'm involved, other times he manages by himself. Still, I've stopped feeling so bad, so worried. I still respond immediately to his cries, but a part of life is learning to pick yourself back up from a fall.

The truth is, in a way it will be my fault because my son will have the confidence to explore the world around him while knowing that when he needs us we will be there to comfort him and pick him back up. Accidents happen regardless, of course, but an accident doesn't have to be the end of the world as much as something to learn and grow from. In fact, accidents are often what lead us to our greatest accomplishments. How many failed prototypes does an inventor have to have before they finally get it right?

While I know this to be true, I also know that I haven't lived my life that way. Even as a kid I can think back to multiple incidents where I was cautious. I still did my own dare-devilish things, I guess. I managed to break my collar bone even. But I also wasn't always willing to jump in to situations where I thought I might get hurt, even if my friends were doing it. The truth is, I let fear hold me back. Even in cosmetology school I struggled with a fear of messing up, mistakes were fine for others but not for me.

I don't want that for my son. I want him to know that there is a great, big world out there for him to explore. To know that, he has to fall, he has to get bumps and bruises and learn to pick himself up and brush himself off. He has to learn that sometimes he's going to fail or fall and it may hurt but it doesn't have to be permanent. Yes, he'll have to learn from his decisions but he'll also never be alone. We will be here to support and love him and do what we can to help (within reason). And when he's ready to brush himself off and get back out there we will still be here, cheering him on and waiting for the next time he needs us to be his support team.

If I can raise a son brave enough to go out fall, get back up and try again, so be it. I'll accept the blame.

Breastfeeding Over-hyped?

Yesterday I started seeing posts about the benefits of breastfeeding being overstated and I felt compelled to comment on it. I didn't because my view would be radically different from the source's (something about eyeballs not being over-rated so therefor the benefits of breast milk are just as important). I honestly feel like I come from both sides of the issue but because of that I'm very annoyed with the lack of understanding both sides have for the other. I am in no way a doctor, I did my research though. Still, this is purely my belief as a regular mom and as a person who likes to practice critical thinking.

I went to the classes, I read up on it on my own. I knew to expect it to be difficult for the first couple of weeks until we got into our rhythm. I fully intended to breastfeed for three years if that was how long my child wanted to breastfeed for, the longer the better! Anybody who thought I was weird was the real weirdo--after all, breastfeeding is literally what breasts are for. It's only our society that's perverted breasts.

I have been breastfeeding for six months now. Actually, I've been supplementing for almost as long. I pump regularly throughout the day and then we feed him formula when the breast milk isn't enough (which it rarely ever is). I started out determined to get him off formula, even two months ago I was still talking about getting back to exclusive breastfeeding.

I made another post about how I hated breastfeeding when I was five weeks in. Nobody really read it, as far as I was concerned it was just a way for me to vent my personal feelings about the subject.

So what does this have to do with the benefits of breastfeeding? With how true or untrue it is that they've been over-hyped? It's that I've come from both sides. I know what it's like to believe heart and soul that breast is best and that you want to give your baby nothing but the best, I also know what it's like to think you're going to have to give up breastfeeding and the feelings of failure and fear of stigma that go along with it.

Do I personally believe the benefits have been over-hyped? Absolutely. There are unhealthy children who are breastfed just like there are healthy ones that are formula fed. There are plenty of intelligent people who were formula fed as a child and there are plenty of children bonded to their mothers despite the fact they were on formula from birth. I can speak from experience saying that when I was still nursing it got to the point where I thought I'd have to stop because I felt such strong anger and frustration at my child, I remember trying to shove him off on my husband every chance I got because it was making my skin crawl to have him touch me because of how horrible breastfeeding went. Not because I didn't love my son, if I hadn't loved him I'd have given up breastfeeding as soon as it started to get rough--but because I had so many negative feelings from breastfeeding him that it was starting to affect how I felt about him in general. I'd planned to have this wonderful, beautiful experience where we struggled at first but once we got it then we'd have all these wonderful, sweet times together with me feeding him and us just sitting there in a loving haze.

Instead I got sharp, shooting pains in my wrists, even my wrist that previously hadn't been all that affected by my carpal tunnel that I had pre-pregnancy, or by the couple falls I had during pregnancy. Instead I got me sitting in the hospital with my baby screaming and crying while I wasn't on my painkillers for some crazy reason and my husband having to sit there and watch while I tried to get my son to latch and I just cried and cried. I went to lactation support groups and they made it seem so easy to get him latched, but I never could seem to work out the dynamics by myself of how to get my boob that was as big as my baby's head (and my baby was born with a large head in his own right) situated to where I could slip it in right when he opened his mouth--more so because my boob made it to where I couldn't even see if he was opening his mouth. Instead every day I cried at my husband "I don't want to breastfeed anymore!" and every day he told me I could give up because it was making me so miserable and I refused because I wanted to give my child the best and I didn't want to be a failure.

And to be fair, I had great support. Brookwood hospital has a great lactation support team and free support group meetings to mothers, which I attended a few times Honestly, I could have attended them more but at first I was in pain from the c-section and then I just got to where I let my social anxiety get the best of me (especially coupled with feeling like a failure and a freak because I hated breastfeeding). I had a husband who was supportive, getting up with me in the middle of the night every two hours to help me try to get my baby to stop fighting and nurse properly. I had doctors who not only first told me to go ahead and supplement with formula and that that didn't mean I'd never breastfeed exclusively but that with big babies sometimes your body just has to play catch-up to their needs. Doctors that still praise me for the fact that I still pump and give him at least 10oz of breast milk a day (generally more) and tell me he'll still get benefits from what I'm doing.

My son has never had to go to the doctor for anything other than a regular check-up, he's had one semi-cold and even then it was mild so I wasn't totally sure he was sick. And I had a very bad cold at the time. Do I think breast milk had anything to do with how healthy he is? Absolutely, I do. But he is not breastfed exclusively, and many resources online make it seem like if a drop of formula touches baby's lips than it's a lost cause. When I try to look up what benefits my child can expect to get since I'm supplementing I can't find anything beyond "Your exclusively breastfed baby" and the research is just not there.

Do I think breastfeeding helped us to bond? I have trouble buying that one, if anything I think it could have left us worse off than if I'd just formula fed from the get-go. I LOVE my son, don't get me wrong... but I honestly, truly resented him for fighting me when I was trying to give him the gift of breast milk. Not only for fighting me, for injuring me so badly that I was afraid I'd never be able to do hair as my job again, possibly taking away my ability to earn money to make sure he has everything he needs and some of the stuff he wants. I kept telling my husband I wanted to quit, that the benefits couldn't be worth the negative feelings I was having, that Wiley deserved a mom who wasn't making herself crazy trying to feed him and not wanting him to even touch her. At first I'd cry and say I wanted to get to at least six months breastfeeding, then three months, finally I accepted I had to take it a day at a time or else I'd give up completely.

About two months in we managed to procure a hand pump for me to try to pump milk with on occasion so I could try to increase my supply and occasionally give my wrists a break from fighting him. More and more it turned into me pumping before it was time to feed him so that I wouldn't have to actually nurse him, I hated it so much. While the hand pump still wasn't great for my carpal tunnel, it was better than fighting an overly-strong newborn. It was still a lot of a struggle, very time consuming and very depressing, I still struggled to want to do it and had to take it one day at a time. I still nursed him regularly because I didn't want him to forget how to nurse completely, but I avoided it a lot.

Finally we got an electric pump. I don't recall how soon after getting it I stopped nursing him, but eventually I gave up somewhere after three months. Actually, I tried again at about four months or so and even the other day, but Wiley has lost the ability to nurse and it just left me feeling like there was something wrong with me. Do I miss it? Somewhat. Sometimes he and I would have a good go at it (very rarely) and I missed those, I missed the times in the hospital when I'd nurse him 'til he fell asleep and then stare at this beautiful, wonderful miracle I just made.

I had tons of support, but I could still never get exclusive breastfeeding to work for me. Do I think it was totally impossible? No, I hope if I have a second child someday to exclusively breastfeed them, I pray they might not be such fighters and that I have the wisdom to seek all avenues of help much, much sooner.

I guess a lot of this is a me rambling and somewhat a tangent. This is my point:

The problem with the current way breastfeeding propaganda is being handled is that it's mostly all or nothing. Information out there is only for exclusively breastfed or exclusively formula fed (and a lot of that has to do with the fact that good research is hard to come-by. You can't tell women to exclusively breastfeed or exclusively formula feed in order to conduct an unbiased study. You have to take in factors such as the socio-economic status of the mothers and various other things.

 As I previously mentioned, one of the pro-breastfeeding people I saw posting about the possibility of over-hyping the benefits tried to compare breast milk to eyeballs. Ok, if you want to use that comparison, some people have eyeballs but still cannot see, so it should stand to reason that some women legitimately cannot breastfeed and currently the pro-breastfeeding propaganda hurts them. I know women who legitimately could not breastfeed. Perhaps a better comparison would have been breastfeeding to hearing. Some people aren't able to hear on their own, nobody thinks less of them for using hearing aids. Is natural hearing best? Probably, at least more convenient, but sometimes it's just not feasible.

Granted, this person wants people to realize how important breastfeeding is so that more people can seek out resources to help them (like how I had the lactation support groups) and if they legitimately can't then they can get donor milk (a great option, I never looked into it because I assumed formula would be a temporary solution, and I also was managing to produce some milk). Still, many women are iffy about feeding a stranger's milk to their babies, and while I would encourage them to re-consider (after all, in human history nursemaids were a norm, not giving your baby formula), I can't honestly believe formula is so terrible that they should be made to feel bad for feeding it to their child. It's a great option for women who breastfeeding didn't work for for whatever reason.

Our first week home with Wiley we messaged a family member asking if they'd mind bringing us formula. That family member told my husband not to let me give up on breastfeeding and that I just needed to relax. Relaxing wasn't my problem (especially at that point, I wasn't yet to the skin crawling stage), I still had high hopes that I'd be able to quit supplementing and exclusively breastfeed and that we'd get to that point where breastfeeding was the beautiful thing I dreamed it would be. My husband responded explaining that his doctor had told us to supplement but we didn't get a response and within an hour we'd asked a friend if she'd mind bringing us formula (and thank God she did, it was such a big help).

That's the problem with the hype on breastfeeding, it's considered so much better for the child that people would tell me to ignore the doctor's instructions because god forbid I use formula. That a well-meaning person's logic would say that it's better for my baby to be hungry and miserable instead of being given formula in addition to my breast milk. That I should feel like I'm a failure or not as good of a mom simply because I never could catch up to my large baby's needs, even though he's healthy and happy.

I know some of this is in my head, partially because I was sucked in by the pro-breastfeeding hype myself. When I pull out formula in public I wonder if people are judging me as a mother, not even realizing what I've been through. I am in the middle, neither an exclusive breast or an exclusive formula mom. I wouldn't still be pumping at six months if I believed that all the benefits are completely hyped. After all, imagine having to pump every three or so hours, on top of taking care of your child and feeding him while also washing double the bottles (because after he gets breast milk we give him formula, usually in a different bottle just so it's ready to go). When we go out I pack a bottle of breast milk, a spare bottle for formula and then I have to pack the formula (which up until recently was a 1lb container I carried with us), I generally pump right before leaving the house and often will take the pump with me or rush home because of how sore my chest is after going hours without pumping since I don't have the benefit of just being able to nurse him wherever I'm at. We had to locate water to mix the formula (once we were out at Railroad Park and they were having a special ticket-only event right by where the one water fountain in the whole park was. We had to ask the security guard to let us go through so we could get water in order to feed our baby, sweet guy said yes). Supplementing includes the worst and the best of both worlds, but it is not easy.

I'm not complaining, I'm thankful that I'm able to do both. But arguments like "are eyeballs over-hyped?" are not only weak, they're exactly what makes the formula crowd resent the breast crowd. This all or nothing mentality makes people feel like they have no choice but to give up and makes them feel like failures when they should be commended for even trying. Even if they didn't try, even if they decided to use formula for whatever reason (because of a medicine the mother was on or whatever), they made the choice that was right for them and their baby. At the rate I was going, my sanity was being compromised and that wasn't good for me or my baby (or my family in general). When I gave up feeling like I had to do all or nothing I did so much more for my son. Instead of breastfeeding for only two months I'm now at six months and currently wondering if I want to continue pumping or if I'm ready to switch to just formula. Since I told myself to take it one day at a time I've enabled myself to go for much longer. Even now, there are times when I'm sore and don't like to hold the baby because his wiggling hurts me and I think "Well, maybe it's time to give it up" but I keep on because I have no expectation of myself and no goal that seems impossibly far-off to reach to. I honestly can see myself making it to a year with this mindset.

And I know the pro-breast group feels victimized too, I remember worrying about when I got to the point that I might try nursing in public. Being treated like a pervert for feeding their child in public or for nursing past a year. Breast is ideal, but it's not best for everyone. It should be accepted and encouraged but I believe both sides would do better to support one another and try to understand one another. Nobody should be made to feel shame for feeding their child, be it because they have to nurse in public or because they felt like formula was the best option for their family. Breast milk has a lot of benefits, benefits I value for my son and truly believe in. However, there is a tendency to over-hype these benefits and I do believe it can do more harm than good. Well meaning people say things that just don't make sense and both sides feel misunderstood, victimized and alienate others. The information about the benefits should be easily accessible, as well as ways to get the great support I got, but you shouldn't have to rely on overblown facts to get that. Breastfeeding is great and deserves these things in it's own right, it doesn't need hyped up facts to make it more worthy.

The Preserve

Going along with the trail talk I thought I'd post about our trip to the Preserve in Hoover, AL. I grew up on the other side of the land now known as the Preserve, though at the time it was just "the woods." I would go in and explore the woods and walk on this trail that they built when they constructed all these power lines at one point. I used to take my dog Mister and wander.

The Preserve is part housing development, part nature preserve. As ridiculous as that seems to me, it is a very pretty place. Unfortunately, I don't have a whole lot of photos of it currently. When we went it was still snowy in places and slick in others. It's up in Bluff Park, which is a pretty hilly place, so some hills I was afraid I was going to fall down (I even almost did--that same hill I watched some guy run down... thanks guy for making me feel like a loser).

I packed a back-pack instead of his diaper bag and Patrick wore him and off we went. At first we checked out the boulder fields, which are a popular spot for rock-climbing (not that I've ever done that), but they're also just pretty to look at.

Lupe had to be put up there.

Unfortunately the climbers there that day were staring at us like we were weirdos, I don't know why. I mean, I'm guilty of staring at them while they climb, but that's just because I'm impressed (especially at these people who can climb up a rock wall without rope and barely any cracks to grab onto). So we moved on from here pretty quickly. 

Still the boulder fields.

After that I didn't want to go further down-hill so we struggled back up the slick hill we'd gone down and went over to walk on just a simple trail. I didn't really get any photos of it, though. It was nice but we got to another slick spot I was nervous about and decided it was best to turn around as it was right above a hill.

I did get this photo of Wiley being fed while walking on the trail, though.

Once spring hits I look forward to us getting back out there and really having fun now that Wiley is bigger and seems to enjoy the sights on the trails we're on.

Railroad Park

Railroad Park at Sundown

Railroad Park is probably one of me and Patrick's favorite places to go for walks. During the warmer seasons they have a cafe, they have bathrooms and it's a beautiful view of Birmingham. We're hoping this year we'll be able to get down to see a Barons baseball game at Regions Field, I can't wait 'til Wiley is old enough to enjoy going to games. But for now we enjoy walking around the park.

We started to go to Railroad Park the other day when Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler came on the radio, that song always reminds me of my dad since my mom told me the song made her think of him. We were just about to pass the exit to the cemetery both sides of my family are buried at when I asked Patrick to turn and go there instead. We stopped by and after getting lost (it's a gigantic cemetery) I managed to find both my father's family and my mother's father (whose family is originally from St. Louis, MO). My family might be the exception, but we get photos at our family grave site There's a photo of my brother and I sitting on the family headstone as kids, so I insisted on getting Wiley's photos with headstones. Partially because these were the men he was named after. I also insisted on getting Wiles on the family marker, though we'll have a re-do when he's older.

Surprise, Lupe is with us again.

After that we headed on to Railroad Park, where I realized I'd forgotten to get a picture I'd wanted to get at the cemetery. The sky had been really pretty and I was hoping I could get Patrick to lift Wiley up to it and I could take a photo from below of Wiley's face with the sky as a backdrop. We tried it at Railroad Park but I only had our cell phone cameras and by that point it was too dark. I did get some other pretty photos, though. 

You can see the moon up in the sky, too.

Patrick is lucky that I'm reasonably good at photography. His attempts at pics with me weren't quite as good. I'm not going to post all the pics because most of them look like this and it'd be silly.

Ok, this one wasn't the worst.

"You guys are embarassing"

I'm sure in the upcoming months we'll have more pics showing off just how great Railroad Park is. Especially as he gets old enough to play on the playground and run around and explore things.