31 weeks, only 9 more to go!

Here I am looking like total crap, no makeup and feeling tired and sore. It's getting harder for me to wake up in the mornings and my joints (wrists, ankles and knees) all hurt when I do wake up. I assume it's that stuff your body makes that loosens up your joints to get you ready to shove a baby out, so I have awhile more to go of this. I need some maternity pants, too. I may just go to wal-mart and buy some shorts for cheap and just live in those 'til mid-August or September, whenever he decides to make his appearance. I can't find any maternity pants at the thrift store, I'm hesitant to buy brand new maternity jeans since I have only two months left to go, I don't want to buy bigger jeans to use my belly bands with (the problem now is if I wear the jeans as unzipped as I need to for a smooth belly line they unzip all the way... but if I wear them where they won't I get that awkward line you can see there) because I know I won't be the same size post-pregnancy. Oh well, I'll manage somehow.

Lupe made a guest appearance! We took her to get her nails trimmed (they're too thick and dark for me to do it without being terrified I'm going to cut them too short and hurt her).

I have my next Dr's appointment Tuesday, it's with one of the other Drs in the practice and I'm nervous. I didn't really care for the first one I met (besides my own Dr, who I love), but hopefully this one will be better. I'm praying my Dr is the one to deliver my baby or I'm going to be sad! I chose her for a reason!

Patrick had the majority of the day off today but we wound up barely doing anything. We did manage to go to the grocery store. Being in the freezer section felt soooo good. I opened one of the doors to get something and then didn't want to leave it, I'm so hot all the time. We didn't manage to hit all the stores we meant to, though. Patrick is sick and I'm just starting to feel the effects of being pregnant (I guess I always have, but now walking around for awhile I can really tell there's a 3+lb baby in there), so we both wore out pretty quickly. We also ran by the bank and of course I found out I lost a check my mom had written to me, so I'm pretty frustrated and we're trying to find it (hoping it's in the apartment or my car) by cleaning but it's still going to take awhile with me getting tired so easily and my wrist being hurt and Patrick being sick.

I finally got an official date to re-schedule for the prepared childbirth class--July 20! I'm so sad I won't be able to go tomorrow, but I hope it'll be ok (I'm telling myself it will be because my pregnancy has gone so smoothly up until now and so I'm hoping he decides to stay in there 'til 37 weeks, which is August 10). I didn't bother moving around our natural childbirth class, which Patrick will be missing part of--but it's earlier in July so hopefully he'll be able to make most of it (since he couldn't get off for both I figured the prepared class was more important since it covered everything and included the hospital tour).

We're trying to figure out the dates for a baby shower, I'm thinking the 21 or the 28 of July (the hostess sadi we could do it sooner--but I want to give her and guests as much time as possible). I may have to call her tomorrow or Monday again just to set down a date in stone. I also need Patrick's mom to give me the name of friends of hers she wants me to invite. I've got most of my mom's. I also need to make sure Patrick's dad and step-mom don't have anybody they'd like for us to invite.

I wish I had more exciting stuff to share right now, once the baby gets here then I'll have a million photos to share of him... but for now I'm just trying to force myself to update with at least a little something even if it's not very exciting, just to get me in the habit.

Our Second Try At A 4D Ultrasound

So we went back this morning to do our second attempt at a 4D ultrasound in the hopes of getting slightly better pictures.

We went to a friend's birthday party last night and didn't get home 'til almost midnight (we then proceeded to watch part of the anime set to that Daft Punk album (I can't remember the name of it right now) 'til about 1am after we got in a conversation on the way home about it and I discovered Patrick hadn't seen it). We had to be at the Dr's office 7:30 for the ultrasound. My ankles were hurting during the night so I kept waking up and so I managed to wake up a little before 7 (which was when I set my alarm for, assuming we'd have to run  around like chickens with our heads cut off but that at least we'd get more sleep if I waited 'til the last minute).

Anyway, we made it there and got the ultrasound. Yet again, William's hand was up by his face. He finally moved it after awhile and we got a few decent pics, I think the first ultrasound gave us the best pics overall, though. I now definitely have an idea of what our sweet little boy is going to look like and that's really all I wanted.

Probably my favorite pic we got.

Here he has his daddy's nose.

He loves having his hands in his face.

The biggest issue was he still had his hands up in his face. I slept with my hands in my face as a child so I'm wondering if he got that from me (even though I doubt that can pass through genetically, I guess it could?)

Evidence: Me as a baby.

Still me.

We had a lot more pics, but those are just the best ones. The others are either repetitive or not clear (one he looks like a snowman and the other he looks like a demon because the focus is more on his hand in front of his face, haha).

I can't wait 'til he gets here and we can compare the real thing to the ultrasounds!

30 Week Belly Pics!

So yesterday we went out for my birthday dinner with some friends and since I was actually dressed nice instead of like a hobo I decided to go on and get my belly pic photos for the week (also, I'm terrible about getting them weekly on the day I hit whatever week I am).

My hands look awkward because I was wearing my wrist brace on my right as well as holding my drink in the same hand and my left hand had my keys (I also think that's why the lower portion of my belly looks lumpy in the pic with me holding my belly, my keys were in my hand... oops).

He was moving around a lot during the dinner and even once we got home, I'm not sure why. At one point I jumped in the middle of talking because he did something that I could feel from the top to bottom of my belly. It didn't hurt, it was just odd and surprising.

10 more weeks! Hard to believe I'm going to be a mommy soon!

Ok, I got an official 29 week photo (ok, 29 weeks and 4 days), so here it is!

I wish I could tell you why I always throw my head back, but I have no idea. I need to stop.

Here is a picture of the dresser drawer, taken by my beautiful assistant (Patrick) because I was too lazy to put on pants to go outside (It's hot out and I'm pregnant, I shouldn't have to wear pants in this kind of heat!).

 I'm still wanting to re-paint it, just gotta figure out what color/colors! It's in my previous post, but if you're looking for a diy dresser drawer liners tutorial you can find the one I went by here!

Patrick and I went to a breastfeeding class Thursday night. It was informative, probably the most interesting thing to me was that apparently Alabama has some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world and also some of the highest infant mortality rates. The instructor mentioned this because she was talking about how peer pressure in the past has caused people to stop breastfeeding at 6 months when people would comment on how the baby was getting "too big" for breastfeeding and now the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusively breastfeeding for six months and at least for a year--then after that as long as it is mutually desired by the mother and baby. This struck me because I know I'm going to get comments when I choose to continue breastfeeding William past a year, past two years, maybe even three years. I honestly haven't set a time for myself to cut him off, but some of the research I've done does show that the longer I can do it, the better. Obviously I won't be exclusively breastfeeding him past six months, I want him to eat normal foods, too... but if he still has a desire to breastfeed past a year, I'm not going to refuse. I know in the past I thought a four year old breastfeeding was weird, even when I was doing my research I still felt a bit weirded out when I saw a toddler breastfeeding alongside their infant sibling. Now I'm not trying to judge anybody who does that because I recognize my reaction was majorly a result of my culture/upbringing and in Alabama you just don't see a ton of breastfeeding, especially of toddlers. I've had people comment to me about when they think a child needs to be weaned and it's definitely been sooner than I would have thought, so I don't look forward to hearing those opinions when they see I'm not even starting to wean him. I want to do what's best for William, and if I think continuing to breastfeed him longer than is deemed the norm or socially acceptable, I'm going to do it.

I'm also not trying to in any way criticize women who don't breastfeed--I'm excited because breastfeeding is less expensive and a way for me and my baby to bond (not that it's the only way to bond or that we won't bond if I'm not able to breastfeed) so I'm very hopeful that I can manage to breastfeed--but I know there are numerous reasons why a woman can't or might not choose to breastfeed and that's fine, too. I know plenty of happy, healthy, formula-fed babies. It's stupid in general how women are made to feel bad now if they choose not to breastfeed, or if they choose to breastfeed for longer than what is considered the norm.

Anyway, it was a good class and I learned a good bit and I'm really excited to be able to put it into action. I'm also excited by how much support my hospital seems to give to breastfeeding mothers. They even have a support group (and apparently the head of the lactation center at my hospital is the president of several lactation groups including a national one (I can't remember her name or find it on their website to look up which group, augh!), so that's reassuring).

Oh! We finally got in our cradle mattress pad (it's really made for a bassinet). It's a bit long so it squinches up a bit but we asked the people at the local baby store if we should get the smaller pad that would be an inch to two inches shorter or stick with the pad that's just about an inch too long so it bows up at the edges (just a bit) but that we can make smooth in the middle. They said the bigger one is probably better so we bought a couple sheets (just to start out with) for the pad and so now it's starting to look a little more like his bed! I have a few toys in it now (I won't have them there once he's born) and I want to lay a light baby blanket out, but my cat likes to get in the cradle so I'm not putting any baby blankets I've already cleaned in there 'til the baby gets here... and the sheet is only in there because I wanted to be sure it fits (I still have to wash it).

We had a prepared childbirth class set for next Saturday but Patrick forgot to ask off and it's during the time he's working soooo... I'm going to have to see if I can switch it to a later date, which I hate because next month I had my natural childbirth class and I guess I'm going to have to move that back. I'm so anxious, though! I want to get the info so I can start preparing myself for the birth! So far it's just been the nice stuff like feeding him and keeping him alive, not the part I'm most worried about.

Also, I'm officially 27! My birthday was yesterday, it was good. Patrick bought me the Hobbit movie and my mom got me that diaper bag. Patrick and I also ate at the Cheesecake Factory which was as expensive as I warned him it'd be but it's ok, I just wanted somewhere we don't ever go instead. Although a birthday present that cost that much would've probably been nicer... or stuff for the baby, haha. We have to be better about our spending, though. 

DIY Drawer Liners

I have been itching to start nesting, so badly. Unfortunately, since we share our apartment with a roommate currently I feel completely unable to since his room is where the baby is going to be if we don't just move to a one bedroom apartment--and if we do move to a one bedroom then anything I would do here would be utterly pointless, anyway... So instead I don't add anything that might make this feel more like our home yet (I mean, it's our home... but not only ours for us to do whatever we want with... which for me is mostly put out a ton of pictures of loved ones and things and shift things around exactly how I think they should be). We have 'til August 1. I think we'll be keeping this apartment, we only have a few more days to debate it and then what's done is done because we have to notify the main office July 1.

Anyway, I've been itching to nest so I finally found an easy and needed diy thing I could do to prep for the baby, so I'm probably way more excited about it than I should be. I have had this old dresser since I can remember, I imagine my mom had it when I was a baby. When I moved in with Patrick we brought the dresser along, after debating if we were going to try to make it in a one bedroom for awhile or not I decided to save us money by getting rid of a bunch of clothes I wasn't really wearing and make the dresser William's dresser. It's only a small 12x21 inches 3 drawer dresser, but starting out it will do. Especially to keep his stuff in our room, which is where he'll be sleeping for at least the first three months. We cleaned it out, vacuumed it and then wiped it down but after putting baby clothes in it I noticed the ones on bottom got left with some big splinters from the plywood base. I decided I needed drawer liners and started to look online, only to find a couple tutorials for how to do it for cheap instead of spending ridiculous amounts on pre-made ones. So I decided on a tutorial that involved mod podge since I already had some at home I'd bought with no specific project in mind and went to World Market (where a second tutorial had mentioned they'd found wrapping paper) and picked out some owl wrapping paper (they had some adorable songbird wrapping paper I really wanted but I decided that was way too feminine--I may go back and get it to do drawer liners in our personal dressers). I actually got two different kinds, one I was afraid was too girly and the other was just plain brown owls, but Patrick voted for the one I was worried about being too feminine so that's what I went with. 

Abel was helping me when I was getting baby clothes organized the other day.

I don't have pics because currently it's drying, but I will in the next day or so. I'm also wanting to re-paint the dresser. Currently it's a plain white, I'll probably just re-paint it white (it has a lot of markings currently, though) but I'm debating other colors, possibly. Depends on if we get him a new dresser later or just give him this dresser for good (even though I'm pretty attached to it and like having it in my room). If nothing else, I may do white and then paint the knobs (they're wooden and I'm not sure how they're attached. Probably screwed in but they're sturdy and no point in changing it) either different colors or just pick one color and paint it white with the different colors. I could also mod podge pictures of animals onto the front, or something else. The possibilities are endless now that I know I didn't totally screw up with the mod podge (I do, however, stink at smoothing out paper once it's on glue--but they'll be covered by baby clothes and they still do their main function, which is keeping splinters off William's clothes).

The drawers are currently drying outside, so I'm just going to share this pre-project photo of my babies hanging around with me while I get prepped to do my project.

They're such helpful furbabies

I will also share this photo of Abel playing in the plastic tarp I got out to do the project on (totally didn't need it, used it anyway).

Abelard is so precocious, inquisitive and precious <3

I will post pics of the finished liners at some point in a few days (and I look forward to getting paint and posting pics of the finished product completely, too). I just want to give them a good chance to dry.

 

I know I'll be re-posting this link to the tutorial I used again when I post the finished product, but for anybody looking for a good tutorial, this one was really easy and from what I can tell so far it's going to turn out great! You can find it here!

Week 28 and 29 Belly Pics!

So I think I never posted belly pics for 28 and 29 weeks... so I'll go ahead and do that now. Not like anybody cares but I'm going to do it anyway.

Here I am at 28 weeks and 2 days! I'm needing some more pants to wear, even with the belly band I'm starting to get too big in the waist for them. I mean, I can button them up but it smooshes me and isn't comfortable, I put the belly band on then un-button it and try to adjust it so that I don't have a lump where the zipper is still zipped and where it's not. I kinda have that weird line here, but I'll live.

29 weeks and 2 days! I look so awkward here, but that's ok. Patrick has been busy and it's also been raining (and since I normally take pics in front of our front door that is an issue) so I just got a mirror pic. I totally didn't see my belly as a pregnant belly in the mirror 'til I started taking the pics and then I could see the belly in pics and when I'd look up I'd see it in the mirror.

I also hurt my hand the other day, my wrist specifically, and it's still hurt. I had to use it to take the picture so I just snapped a few pics as quick as I could and chose the one I hated the least. Life is rough.

Diaper Bag!

So I ordered my diaper bag from Target today! I'm very excited. Really it's a present from my mom, but I used gift cards from the baby shower we had the other day to buy it for now (she'll pay me back later). I was going to buy the mattress or the high chair but then I'm not totally sold on the cradle mattress I picked out and figured I should wait to buy the high chair 'til closer to time since he won't even use it for the first several months.

So while I was talking to her I mentioned the diaper bag and she said she'd get it for me, so yay. Patrick and I picked this one out together, I'm really excited because it fits our personalities so good (and even though it's rainbow I felt like it was gender neutral enough for me to use for my little boy--especially since I'm the one carrying it around).

It's Skip Hop Duo Essential Diaper Bag Metro Stripe. I got it from Target but it's a bit cheaper on Amazon (although with Target I spent $50 and got free shipping, so I think it evened out--but mostly I had gift cards, haha).

I hate how expensive diaper bags are, I know I could've gotten a cheaper one but I hope this one works really well. I generally refuse to spend over $20 for a purse but since this will be like my purse as well as useful for carrying stuff for awhile I was going to splurge, but getting it as a present makes it even better!

Our 4D Ultrasound, Cradle and more!

I'm excited to say that we got a couple decent (maybe even good? I haven't seen enough to know what's good and bad) pics of baby boy today at the 4D ultrasound.

Our tech was good at trying to get the best pics she could given all the things she had going against her. Baby boy had his hands up in front of his face and actually he was laying with his legs stretched out over his head as well (ahh, to be that flexible). The umbilical cord was also a bit in the way. And of course, I'm fat, so I don't doubt that it wasn't as easy as if she were doing it on a momma with less body fat. 

When we first got in there I started laughing because the pictures were making him look like some blobby humanoid thing, I never know if I can breathe normally in ultrasounds so I always hold my breath, which is kinda hard after about 10 minutes. But we got a few good pics (which I'm about to share!) and then we're going to try again in a few weeks (I'm thinking when I'm about 32 weeks). Every time I ask at the Dr's office I make the mistake of saying something that sounds like I expect them to guarantee fantastic pics, which I don't. I do, however, think it's reasonable for them to re-schedule once if I'm paying $150 and we're unable to get any view of the baby's face. I know they can't control the baby's positioning any more than I can. I just always say something about guaranteeing and they're quick to be like "We can't guarantee anything!" I guess it's my fault I use the term wrong because I just mean they'll do their best to make sure we get the best pics possible (the first time I said something to that extent was when talking to them about if I could go in at 27 weeks when they recommend 28-34 weeks. I just meant that they prefer it because it's more likely to result in better quality pics, oops). So today I was just trying to ask if if he didn't cooperate that we had a chance to come back and try again but I asked simply what they did if he didn't cooperate (since this was our first try), at first she was like "There's nothing we can do" and I said "Well, I've just heard of other places that let you try again" and finally she said "If they don't cooperate you can come back a second time but we can't guarantee you'll get a picture of his face." That was all I wanted to know! Do I get two trys? I'm sorry I fail at the English language when it's 7am (this morning I woke up and bathed and then came out to eat breakfast and saw Patrick and I said something about me being 20 layers or something, I paused for a minute then asked him what I just said and when he told me I couldn't even figure out or remember what I was actually trying to say).

But the main point is we're going to try again in about a month and I'm excited! But I'm also excited about the pics (which I guess I should get around to sharing now).

Here you can see his hand grabbing his little toes <3

I'm not sure if that's his arm or his leg you see over to his right. I think he has his hands at his face and it's his leg, though.

Our handsome little boy <3

Those are only some of the pics, we have one where his nose looks kinda weird (Like mega-upturned, which mine is... but not to that extent... but it also looks like he has a little moustache. When the tech took the pic was right when I think I made a comment about him looking like the Joker. These are the best but I may share the others later, I just was exhausted when I got home and took a nap and these were the only three I edited out my personal info (and now I still feel icky so I'm too lazy). I think these are honestly the best pics, but I may also like them more because the more I look at it the more I realize he looks more like me here.

I got Patrick's Father's Day present in today and went ahead and gave it to him, he was very excited.

I'll write more about them once Patrick gets to look through them and actually use them.

The other good news is we got the cradle to the apartment today, so now I don't have to worry as much about if he were to come early and us still have nowhere to put him. Not that I'm very worried about him coming early, he seems very comfy and happy and so far I feel good, but I also wanted to get the cradle cleaned up as it's sat in my mom's garage for years and had dust on it. Plus, I needed measurements to see what cradle mattress I should get. Mom still has the pillow me and my brother slept on and it fits perfect and I know we survived but I'm still not ready to ignore the warnings to not use pillows anymore and she doesn't get it's not that I question her judgement or think she was a bad parent, it's that we know more now... we now know that there's a higher risk of SIDS with pillows than firm surfaces. I think she thinks a mattress won't be soft enough because she thinks the ply wood on the bottom would be uncomfortable, but there's a difference between us fatties laying on a hard surface and a tiny baby.

Abel checking out the cradle.

It's an antique replica, wooden and has these little pegs that you can pull out or push in to have the cradle rock. I'm so excited. It's a bit more beat up (just nicks and scratches) than I remember, but it's sturdy. We do need to re-glue one part of it (that appears was previously glued), but I don't think it'll be too hard with the right tools (i.e. a clamp and good wood glue).

I'd picked out this more expensive bedding, but I think I've decided against it. I love it, but $34 for one and I don't know that it's worth it. I'd like the matching blanket, but the blanket isn't even necessary.

You can find this bedding here if interested in it.

It's super cute and fits the wild animal theme I want for his room--but the cradle will be in our room, he won't be in it super long and he's going to pee on it and it's going to go in the wash and I'm going to have the cheaper sheets on it half the time or more. Maybe for the crib bedding? I don't know, we still aren't sure if we're going to switch to a one bedroom or stay in this apartment. I want to stay here but I recognize all the reasons to switch to at least a one bedroom (since we like the complex and it's convenient to everything currently we figured we could do a one bedroom for a year while we try to figure out what we're doing. Also, since I'll be 8-9 months pregnant when our lease is up it'll be easier to move in-complex).

I guess I should save some stuff for later so maybe I make more regular posts (except I think I just posted everything I could think of). I'm so excited I can picture my handsome little man more now!

28 Weeks!

I'm finally in the third trimester! I'm so excited!

Honestly, I've had this song pop in my head every single time I thought about how I was almost at 28 weeks/this morning when I finally could say I was 28 weeks.

Watching the video makes me wish me and Patrick had been coming-of-age in the 80s instead of being born in the 80s (although I'm very happy I was an 80s baby)... Mostly because I love 80s music, the fashion, etc... and Patrick loves the music, long hair on himself and synthesizers. Oh well.

Speaking of Patrick's hair, I finally got around to trimming it. It's about an inch or two shorter but I've been meaning to cut it for a month. He had a mullet and I got rid of that crap, but he wants to grow it out at some point so I guess the mullet will have to come back at some point. Also on the subject of hair, I got a new haircut! My hair was driving me crazy being two-toned and I am burning up in the heat and humidity that is Alabama summers so I'd resolved to chop it off into what I call a "boy cut" (not short enough to be a pixie but not long enough for me to consider it a bob). I decided to go to my old manager because I felt like she would help me get a really great style (and also to test the waters of me possibly going back to work with the company post-baby--which she's no longer a manager (she makes better money as a stylist) but as soon as I walked in she was telling her manager I needed to be applying and how good I am at various things... so that's a plus). Also, I need to get my cosmetology license back from her, although I'll likely just not bother and renew it... because now that I think about it I have less than a month to do that, oops.

Anyway, here's my new hair! The photo is terrible, I have yet to get a decent pic. The cut is great but I think my face looks awkward in every pic I get.

My hair is still two-toned, but now it could almost pass for highlights (I realized I've gotten some natural highlights from being out in the sun, too), it's not just a big straight line where the old and new color separate. She also thinned it out, I had no idea just how thick it had gotten! I guess being pregnant did make my hair thicker (though I don't think by much, I'd also just stopped thinning it and hadn't had it thinned in probably 10+ months). My hair almost feels thicker in a way, more because now I can actually feel it when it moves, I guess. It also looks good after 3 days instead of me needing to wash it every day. It's so nice!

So Tuesday morning we have the 4D ultrasound! I'm so excited! I've been trying to be better about drinking water (I'm also needing to eat better, bad mommy) but I think I'm finally getting there. I think my issue is I don't feel very pregnant (even though I feel him kick and see it and have felt him shift even). I look the same I always have, at least to me, and because of that I still tend to try to bend and pick up stuff because I forget my belly isn't just fat anymore, it's actually hard and it doesn't bend like fat does. Nobody recognizes me as pregnant, either... I finally got a lady the other day and I'm pretty sure that's only because we were buying baby things and didn't have a baby with us.

Saturday morning Patrick has daddy boot camp and then that afternoon we have the baby shower! I'm so excited!

Then the Friday after that is my birthday! Even though I doubt anything exciting will happen for it, boo.

I also talked to somebody about throwing me a second, more traditional baby shower since I thought that might be more appropriate to invite my mom's friends to (plus, half our families can't make it to the first one--Patrick's cousin is getting married the same day in Georgia). So I'm excited I'll get at least two! But I'm very excited about the first one since it's a pool party and it's going to be a lot of fun!

Patrick and I just toured the perfect little house for us to buy today, the only problem is we're just starting out and have not saved up for a down payment or anything. I'm getting my credit back in order after a drawn out period of being an emotional mess and letting my credit go from great to not so great (in my defense, my ex fiance left me, my best friend was murdered, my cat died, etc. I could not catch a break for quite some time... but I still should have been smarter about dealing with my finances and student loans). Patrick has tolerable credit, but not much credit history.

So basically, I doubt very much we'll be able to get it. It's a three bedroom house with a screened in front porch, about an acre of land, a car port, storage shed and a good amount of space in the living areas. The kitchen was also muuuuuch bigger than I was expecting which is awesome. It would be a bit of a fixer-upper, at least slowly over time. Totally live-able but I'd want to re-paint it, probably tile the porch (it's carpeted), re-carpet the whole house, update fixtures, etc... but seriously, that can all wait and be done over several years. And the location! Great schools--all the schools I went to. The house is 2 minutes away from my mom's house, and we're thinking my mom is going to be our baby-sitter so that would make it SO convenient and we'd save so much money! It wouldn't be far from his jobs and not far from the job I'm hoping to get post-baby, even if I don't get that one there are a lot of nearby places I could work.

It's not an expensive house by any means, it's being sold for a great price and I'm terrified it's going to get snapped up. I wish we could rent-to-own the house or even just rent it but that's not going to happen.

I know I may be too negative, but I'd rather expect the worst and have the best happen.

27 Weeks!

So as of yesterday we're at 27 weeks--one more week 'til we hit the third trimester! I'm so excited!

I don't know if you're supposed to wait to celebrate mother and father's day 'til after you have the baby (I think you are) but since Patrick did something for me for mother's day I just ordered his present--some geek dad books with different activities for him to do with baby boy. I'm only sharing this because as of now the only time Patrick looks at this blog is when I'm posting stuff, haha.

I'm starting to feel the baby kick more and more. Yesterday I wound up sick and slept most of the day, I thought I was going to have to run out during the sermon at church, I felt so bad. I think I did too much Saturday and then we ate at Waffle House Sunday morning because I was starving after we had to go help my mom when her car died for the second time in two days (I won't go into the day before--but I was stuck in the heat for awhile). I ended up feeling sick and sleeping most of yesterday. I wanted to swim today but I will not go to our complex pool alone and Patrick is always working. Instead I'm sitting here feeling like I'm melting all day (the exception is when I lay on my bed and have my fan on me--but I always fall asleep and I'm sick of sleeping). I want a job so bad, but I also want to move up north way far away from this heat.

I also think I'm going to become a hermit when the baby is born so I can control exactly what he's seeing.  I don't want to be one of those moms at all... but I also want to give him a fighting chance to not be attached to TV or phone games like all the kids I see now-a-days are. My mom bought a table with Sponge Bob on it (I've never liked Sponge Bob and really don't want to ever let him watch it because I find it obnoxious and it reminds me of Ren and Stempy (which I hated as a kid), but Patrick and I have agreed definitely not 'til he's 4 or 5) and when she showed me (because she's never seen Sponge Bob and just thinks the table is cute) I had this disappointed face and ended up just telling her why I don't like the show... which she agreed she wouldn't like either, but somehow having the table with his face on it isn't a problem? I'm going to have to explain to him how he can't watch a show that his grandmother thinks is OK to bring in toys and crap of.

I know that the best laid plans go awry, especially with first time parents. When I say I won't let him watch TV, I really don't want him watching it unless we're watching it together, as a family. So Disney movies, TV shows that I find semi-educational or fun for both of us at least... and even that will be limited. It won't be me trying to distract him with TV or video games so I can attempt to get chores done, it will be us interacting. I hope he'll learn how to entertain himself like we somewhat had to do when I was a kid. I want to teach him to behave instead of distracting him like parents did when I had to cut their kid's hair, or when we've gone out to eat (I was taught to behave out at restaurants). That's fine for other people, I really don't want to do that though. Patrick and I don't even watch TV except for shows we pull up on the internet, we don't have cable, I don't forsee it being a problem. Yes, I'll get frustrated and want to stick him in front of the boob tube sometimes... but I am going to try my best to not do it. I want to be realistic, I won't always parent the way I plan to, but I can try my best.

Patrick has finally seen the baby kick (a few times, actually). He's given me a few good scares where I ended up jumping, he kicked so hard. 

I really need to be drinking more water for the 4D ultrasound, and in general.

I'm ready for Patrick to get home, I hate he's always working... I wish I could be working... but I really don't want to be working after the baby comes and I'll probably have to be, UGH. I refuse to make Patrick work so much he never sees the baby just so I can be a stay at home mom, though. I want the baby to know him too... But I also don't want anybody but us taking care of him. I know I have my mom, but I don't trust her to follow my rules because she's already a total grandma to the dog when Lupe comes over to visit. I've accepted it with Lupe, but the TV thing is really a big issue to me and my mom is one of those that has the TV on a lot... although it's not cartoons. Still, I'm so bad if a TV is on I can't help but look at it or watch it, sound or no sound, doesn't matter if I even care about what's on.... I don't want him to be that way.

Anyway, I'm just making myself feel anxious about it all now. I need to go clean the house, but it's so damn hot.. and I prefer cleaning while Patrick is home. I guess I'll attempt to get some stuff done, though.